A Complete Explanation Of Everything

So I was on Phantom FM the other night. The newly relaunched old pirate station in Dublin that has now gone fully legitimate.

And I was talking about music.

Unfortunately, it wasn't my show and rather a bizarre little competition, that pitted "Managers" of albums versus one another in a sort of variant on Fantasy Football. That I was involved, twas merely the happenstance of an hour or twos drunken surfing on the Monday night.

The point was you were to choose what was, in your opinion, the "BEST" record of all time... A load of old horseshit I know, there is no "BEST", or "GREATEST", as Eric Clapton famously called out to a heckler in a London audience once. And I did tailor my choice thus accordingly, to kinda fit with the Alternative Middle of the Road audience that Phantom is now pitching for moreso than usual. But I didn't pick the fucking Bends!

Nah, I picked: "In Utero", which is well... Here was my pitch:

"From the opening dischord of: 'Serve the Servants', it was clear that: 'Teenage Angst had paid off well...'

'In Utero' was that pay-off. A disconsolate blast of existentialist post rock that scared the living daylights out of the establishment but reflected the dark days of 1993...

Produced by Steve Albini against all advice, this record showcased Nirvana's music and Kurt's writing at it's edgiest and grittiest... Rumoured to be unlistenable, there is no shadow of doubt that this album was the pinnacle of Nirvana's work, from the classic intro to 'Heart Shaped Box', to the soulful laments of tracks like 'All Apologies' and 'Pennyroyal Tea'...

This masterpiece probably cost Cobain the remainder of his sanity, and the world, a very talented artist. But it continues to remind us, in the echoing distortion of 'Radio Friendly Unit Shifter', that music is meant to be about expression, communication and pushing boundaries..."

Well, I said some more. But that was all they aired! The great irony or rather reminder of how incestuous the scene in Dublin is, I actually knew the competitor I was up against, a good friend of a friend.

Anyway, predictably, "The Bends" won, it was a vote-in thing and I'm not one for marshalling a campaign of any sort, plus I was kinda peeved that they didn't play the entirety of "Radio Friendly Unit Shifter", which was the only reason I bloody entered.

Still, I related the story to the presenter of the show the next day via email and I was treated on my drive home to the Nirvana track of my choice and we even got, Pearl Jam - "Do the Evolution" to boot.

Maybe there's some hope that the good will out and crass commercialism won't suck Phantom under just yet.

Certainly if it's that easy that even I can talk rubbish on it!