A Complete Explanation Of Everything

So I was dreaming of my hotel in Brussels that I'm going to have to stay in for 2 nights at the very least in about three weeks time. It was a strange dream in the sense, that I've been there before and yet I dreamt I had a split level double room, almost a kind of a mezzanine affair.

Anyway, in between all sorts of weird stuff happening, some kind of gigantic insect invasion (straight outta Final Fantasy) and witnessing a car crash, going to the injured parties aid etc., I wandered back to the room and proceeded to get into a complicated situation whereby I was left dangling offa the edge of the mezzanine as it collapsed.

I was left dangling wearing only a towel (don't ask) and all my clothes were upstairs, so I wandered out through the lower door to this piano type bar affair, where the female DJs / singers were in the midst of ejecting anyone from the crowd who they suspected of being Jewish. Anyway, I finally caught up with Umberto, who was the Italian handyman (Belgian Hotel = Italian Handyman?) and he basically thought I was taking the piss with my tale of woe and destruction that had befallen my room.

However on inspection, he agreed that the place was totalled. Cut to a scene in my new replacement room and I'm telling this Umberto chap that I don't really like to complain but this new room is great, I can tell it's just been redecorated, etc.

And as I'm congratulating him on the fine job, a huge ceiling tile crashes onto the bed.

Don't give up the dayjob Umberto, wherever you are!

(Can anyone beat that for strangeness, I think not!)